Let's Pretend This Never Happened : (A Mostly True Memoir) -- Paperback By Lawson, Jenny Publisher : Pan Macmill Published Date : 2012/05 ISBN : 9781447223443 BookWeb Price : S$ 31.95 Kinokuniya Privilege Card member price : S$ 28.76 Availability Status : In stock at the Fulfillment Centre. Usually dispatches within 5 working days.

 
Introduction                                       1  (2)
    I Was a Three-Year-Old Arsonist                3  (6)
    My Childhood: David Copperfield Meets Guns     9  (13)
    & Ammo Magazine
    Stanley, the Magical Talking Squirrel          22 (8)
    Don't Tell Your Parents                        30 (7)
    Jenkins, You Motherfucker                      37 (9)
    If You Need an Arm Condom, It Might Be Time    46 (12)
    to Reevaluate Some of Your Life Choices
    Draw Me a Fucking Dog                          58 (12)
    And That's Why Neil Patrick Harris Would Be    70 (9)
    the Most Successful Mass Murderer Ever
    No One Ever Taught Me Couch Etiquette          79 (4)
    Just Your Average Engagement Story             83 (5)
    It Wasn't Stew                                 88 (7)
    Married on the Fourth of July                  95 (5)
    There's No Place like Home                     100(5)
    A Series of Helpful Post-it Notes I Left       105(6)
    Around the House for My Husband This Week
    The Dark and Disturbing Secrets HR Doesn't     111(14)
    Want You to Know
    If You See My liver, You've Gone Too Far       125(9)
    My Vagina Is Fine. Thanks for Asking           134(6)
    Phone Conversation I Had with My Husband       140(6)
    After I Got Lost for the Eighty Thousandth
    Time
    And Then I Got Stabbed in the Face by a        146(18)
    Serial Killer
    Thanks for the Zombies, Jesus                  164(5)
    Making Friends with Girls                      169(22)
    I Am the Wizard of Oz of Housewives (In        191(10)
    That I Am Both "Great and Terrible" and
    Because I Sometimes Hide Behind the
    Curtains)
    The Psychopath on the Other Side of the        201(8)
    Bathroom Door
    An Open Letter to My Husband, Who Is Asleep    209(3)
    in the Next Room
    Just to Clarify: We Don't Sleep with Goats     212(9)
    Stabbed by Chicken                             221(17)
    It Wasn't Even My Crack                        238(9)
    Honestly, I Don't Even Know Where I Got        247(11)
    That Machete: A Comic Tragedy in Three
    Parts Days
    I'm Going to Need an Old Priest and a Young    258(19)
    Priest
    And That's Why You Should Learn to Pick        277(5)
    Your Battles
    Hairless Rats: Free for Kids Only              282(5)
    And Then I Snuck a Dead Cuban Alligator on     287(10)
    an Airplane
    You Can't Go Home Again (Unless You Want to    297(10)
    Get Mauled by Wild Dogs)
Epilogue                                           307(2)
The End (Sort of)                                  309(6)
True Facts                                         315(2)
Acknowledgments                                    317